@Nocturiaat55 Wow, sir, I am so impressed by all you have survived not just with your life intact, but with a humble, positive, and grateful attitude, to boot! Well done! You are inspiring and I appreciate you sharing your experiences with us!
To answer a couple of your questions...
Yes, a hernia can contribute to bladder incontinence and spasms, as can trauma anywhere near the sensitive bladder, which is one of the most nerve-centric parts of our bodies. I imagine with all the surgery you’ve survived, not to mention the laceration, you incurred some permanent damage to your bladder nerves. Nerves aren’t particularly great at regenerating, particularly when they connect directly to the spinal column, which bladder nerves do. So you may not regain your former level of bladder control. It takes about nine months for nerves to die completely, so if after nine months you don’t have all your bladder control back, it’s likely to stay that way.
After my spinal injury 5.5 years ago, when I permanently severed most nerves to my bladder, two months passed before I started experiencing loss of bladder control because it takes some time for nerves to die (though some of mine were dead immediately, forever - my entire left buttock, for instance). Then my OAB and nocturnal polyuria got worse and worse until the nine month mark, when the nerves were done dying and I had the new bladder nerve baseline I’d live with in perpetuity.
Some good news: though the frequency of my micturition remains just as often, and the urge intensity is sometimes still painful, overall, the farther away I get from the injury, the more the spasms decrease in quantity and potency. So there is some hope there; may you experience a similar relief the farther away you get from your three surgeries (and the pending fourth hernia surgery).
All of my symptoms improved with dedicated physical therapy to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles. I can stop 9 out of 10 daytime accidents now by flexing my levator ani muscle group (the pubococcygeus, puborectalis, and iliococcygeus). “Doing Kegel exercises” is a somewhat disrespectful minimization of what’s involved in a thorough batch of pelvic floor P.T., but it’s easier to just say “Kegels.“ I know some people think they know all there is to know because they google, “How do I do Kegel exercises?” but there’s a lot more to it that a physical therapist can help you understand with both touch and breathing. So I highly recommend P.T. Even though it’s duration can feel obnoxious and slow-going, the results are well worth it. If you try it and don’t feel like you’re improving, change the P.T. or the clinic. I always look for Ph.D. P.T.s. They may take longer to initiate treatment with because they’re busier, but they really know what they’re doing, unlike P.T.s who may only have a 2-year Associate’s degree.
There are several lifestyle changes and medications to take to help with both incontinence and spasms, and it sounds like you’ve tried a couple. I took huge doses of Oxybutynin/Ditropan for the first three years but found that it oddly made me pee more often and with sharper pain, while also making it harder to expel the urine. Somehow it still helped, though - I guess it bought me time to make it to a toilet. I decided eventually that I could take it or leave it, in terms of how it helped my bladder. It made my eyes burn and absolutely rotted my teeth. I’d had four cavities in my entire life prior to Oxybutynin. I take really good care of my teeth. After just two years on Oxybutynin, I had at least one cavity in every tooth, six crowns, and two root canals. The dry mouth rot isn’t worth the slight perks of Oxybutynin. I will never take it again. Unfortunately the longterm damage to my dentin is permanent so even though I quit taking Oxybutynin two years ago, my teeth rot along my gum line continues. Side effect disclaimers can be so misleading, so indirect. Why do they just say “may cause dry mouth,” instead of also saying “may rot your teeth which may affect your lifelong ability to absorb nutrients”? Anyway, not everyone has that result to the extent that I did. I was prescribed triple the daily maximum amount.
I’ve also taken Myrbetriq regular release and extended release. Neither had any noticeable side effects for me, but didn’t help much, either.
My favorite medication is Botox. It’s absolutely worth the 10-minute-long painful procedure to be done every 3-6 months in exchange for the peace of mind (and peace of bladder!) to be able to get a dry, thorough night of good rest, uninterrupted by the need to pee, or worse, a wet bed. Decent sleep is a vital component of a healthy life. So I’m in favor of doing everything possible to help me sleep well, which means doing everything I can to help my bladder, including receiving Botox injections, wearing diapers even when I’ve had Botox - just in case, and sleeping on several layers of “chucks” (disposable, waterproof bed pads) under my fitted sheet, with two non-disposable, waterproof, fitted sheets under that, so I can rest assured my mattress doesn’t run the risk of being permanently stained with urine. *Then* I sleep better.
I hope your entire G.I. region continues to improve and that your hernia surgery is also a success, without further complication. I’m happy for you that you have your wife by your side to support you and to spend time with. I agree with billiveshere: keep up those walks, and have a great weekend. Sounds like the worst is behind you!